Oct 3, 2015

Noncomforming Use

Anyone who has seen one of my flutes will know I'm a nonconformist. Anyone who meets me in person can see I'm a nonconformist.


It seems a contradiction to be a shy and somewhat solitary person and to be nonconforming enough to stick out like crazy. I don't want to be different, I simply won't  be one of the crowd. Maybe that's the same thing but it is visceral and I have a hard time refusing it. In grammar school I had a "John Lennon" cap that no one else would have put on their heads. In middle school I wore my brother's navy issue shirts and huge bell bottom whites. It wasn't that I didn't fit in - I stood out. I still wear unusual clothes, go barefoot and sit alone to write in a crowded bar.

Same goes for my writing, my flutes and other creative expressions. I write books using a popular genre to capture an audience and then take them in a new direction once I have them. My flutes are a wild tangle of artwork mixed with precision and music. I read quantum physics so I can redefine gravity. Living my quiet, fairly asocial life would not suit most but gives me great comfort.

Many people call this part of an artistic temperament. A nonconforming gene? I may look at the world through an off kilter lens but why would that demand of me that I appear out of place? Typically an intensely creative person ignores their outer shell letting the physical world wash over them with whatever comes along and leaving them somewhat disoriented and disheveled. Me? I run in the opposite direction from whatever is deemed popular and decide for myself all the things that most others let society choose for them.


In many ways, it has defined my life, in others, I've struggled to fit in. The older I get, the easier it becomes to accept the strange along with the good fortunes and I look forward to what quietly crazy square peg I'll be tempted to hammer next.

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